In the past, since the inception of this blog, I have done a lot of unfair and unbalanced bashing of my friends on the "Right" side of the political spectrum. Today I would like to change things up a little and offer an olive branch of peace and reconciliation. Please, to my friends and readers on the Left, bear with me here while I perform this soul cleansing experiment.

So, I thought long and hard (for a couple minutes at least) on what I should do to try and make amends. Should I round up a bunch of monkeys in a marsh and have them appear to take on the image of Bush's head? Too complicated. Should I buy a huge truck and go hunt some illegals? Too time consuming. Or, should I just marry my sister and have offspring? Nope, too red state. (Over the line? Yeah, I thought so too.) What I decided to do instead was give the talkers on the "Right" a little free press. I know if there is one thing that people on the "Right" need and desire, it is for more people to hear their messages and contemplate the meaning of said messages.

So, without further ado, I present you with some of the best points the "Right" has to offer (in their own words of course):

• Michael Savage (radio talk show host): "I want to puke when I hear about a woman married to a woman raising children because, frankly, I think that it's child abuse to do that to children without their permission. What does a child know? Ask them when they're 16 whether they want to be raised by two lesbians or two men."
  
• Bill O'Reilly (radio and TV talk show host): "Secular progressives (ed. note: Democrats) are going to basically tell children to use drugs, to have indiscriminate sex, do what you want when you're 14 years old, never mind what your parents think."
  
• Ann Coulter (man pretending to be a woman): "I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I — so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards."
  
• Rush Limbaugh (Oxycontin addict): "Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?"
  
• "President" Bush (I'll go ahead and leave this blank): "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
  
• Dick Morris (slime ball): "You have to ask yourself, the first black man is running for president and no body's afraid of him, because every body's afraid of Hillary."
  
• Sean Hannity (muppet): "I want you to stay home on Election Day because you must accept the fact that your party has abandoned you. You've gotta accept the fact that your vote doesn't matter anyway. So all you Democrats, stay home."
  
• Jerry Falwell (Satan's new tennis partner): "(ed. note: talking about 9/11 attacks) I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.'"
  
• James Dobson (Falwell's future doubles partner): "And in 1973, the Roe v. Wade decision, the Supreme Court labored forth and came to us with the abortion decision that all abortion is protected by the Constitution. And that has now resulted in 44 million deaths. The biggest holocaust in world history that came out of the Supreme Court."
  

OK, that is enough of the free airtime for you guys. I hope I have helped your causes in some small way and provoked deep thought in the readers' minds with your powerful words. I feel better now for having done this great deed. :)

Thanks for reading!!